Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Great American Past-Time

"Take me out to the ball game...take me out to the crowd...cuz it's ONE, TWO, THREE strikes you're out at the old, ball, game!" High above the field below, slightly to the left of home plate, there is section 417, row EE, seats 17&18. "Who's the guy on the left over there?" "What is that line painted there for?" "How much are entry-level baseball players making on this team?" questions seat 18. "That's Mark Teahan, and I have a slight obsession with him." "The line is painted so the players don't run too far off the base-line, but they do anyways." "Sometimes between $250,000 to $400,000 until they stay on for a while, then the pay jumps up to the millions." replies seat 17. Red Vines, Orange Slices, Cherry Slices, Eat Mores, Nachos, Peanuts, Frozen Lemonade, and a Sprite. Why is it that people have a desire to consume more food when it is most expensive and in an arena? Stadium People must make bank. For instance, tonight was "T-shirt Tuesday" where they hand out a free T-shirt to the first 20,000 people who enter the stadium. Genius Ploy. Seat 17 figured that each shirt probably cost the Stadium People about 50 cents, and Seat 18 agreed. But, the 50 cent down to the Stadium People was quickly returned as the stadium filled with guests eager to witness their favourite match-up between the Kansas City Royals and the Infamous Arizona Diamondbacks...uh huh. Well, during the very first inning, Seat 18 noticed a ploy as she was distracted -- the crowd went wild! What on earth happened?? "The Royals stole a base, so you steal a Sonic Slushie!!" "Wow! I am so lucky! All I have to do is take my ticket-stub to any convenient Sonic location and redeem it for a small slushie of my choosing." dreamed seat 18. Then, Seat 18's mind wandered off again to think about redeeming the slushie the next day. "ooh, I'll have to take my friend there...what goes well with a slushie....um, I love the BLT Toasters they've got there, with fries for sure...my friend doesn't get a free slushie, but oh well, it's just an excuse to go to Sonic anyways..." and BAM, Seat 18 realizes that she's caught in another marketing scheme. Meanwhile, Seat 17 is watching the game. "Boy it's hot up here under all these lights" Seat 18 imagines Seat 17 was thinking at the time. "And how convenient that that guy brings the Frozen Lemonade right over near us..." "I'll Take One!" Seat 17 yells to the man. "You want one too?" "We'll Take Two!" Seat 17 revises. Seat 18 tries to see the price tag on the large button posted to the man's shirt, and only can make out "$5.25" after the treat is headed her way down the isle. "I think you can buy a box of 1,000 of those at Sam's Club for that price" Seat 18 muses and she thumbs through her wallet. The Lemonade is cold and the stadium is hot, and the Stadium People's earnings are even hotter. But ah, is getting scammed not the Great American Past-Time?

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